This feels right..

I dont know about blogging.
I've never really thought about doing this.
I dont know why Im even doing this.
I havent in awhile. Sudden insperation, I guess, eh?
No one is even going to read it really.
I need someone to listen, help, anything. Human contact would be nice once in awhile, theres nothing left anymore ya know? Have you ever gone from having everything and be SOOOO happy to just, not knowing what you live for anymore?

Jeez, my boyfriends miles away, his best friend who I was crazy about is no longer in my life, Im scared of lies now, I've have about six emotional breakdowns this week. Man, ya know,
this sounds like a messed up poem or something. Im not quite sure what to write that appeals to people, all I have is me. I need someone to listen, maybe FINALLY I've found my escape from everything that is overwhelming me. The thing is, all the overwhelming stuff is over. Mostly just what was worrying me was school, which is normal I guess, presentations, tests all in one week. Its enough for anyone to get frustrated over I guess. Even after everythings over I just feel, like ending it. More then ever.

To bad, that was only thing that PUSHED me over the edge. The thing that led me to that edge, sometimes it seems like dragged, was mostly just my social life. The people that I care about that INSIST on hurting me is what led me to that edge. Im tired of talking about that, though. Its VERY tired and I talk about it alot, Im actually getting tired of myself. Maybe thats why its hard to talk about.

All I really need is someone to listen. I try to be there for people, but theres no one for me. The only person that ever was is gone or is the problem. He just led me in the right direction and now he's broken my compass. I dont know which way to turn, what to believe, what to give up on. And what to end.

I have a song that fits perfectly right now. Counting Stars by Sugarcult. I've been blasting music so much, just sitting there till my ears ring. I've really gotten attatched to them. Its the only way out, but it isnt enough. Just, someone. God.

Like I said, this is all to depressing. And I hate it, when I finally find something to get my mind off it Im fine but after he leaves and Im all alone again that horrible feeling of not knowing what to do with myself comes right back.